Before there was anything. The food on your table, the office, the rain, the trees that change with the seasons, the rivers and mountains, the senses of the body, the sun and the moon, stars in the sky... and the consciousness of those before you. There was a nothing. And in this nothing sat Twobeings, wondering what realities could be created. With each thought, a womb emerged on Twobeings’ body -- wombs on the feet, on the shoulders and through the spine, wombs within the stomach and spaces in the head. When Twobeings thought the final thought, and every womb was filled, Twobeings’ body finally split open. And from these wombs, ████ was born, coated in a layer of fire, water, wind, and dirt. ████ looked up at Twobeings, whose figure/shape was bursting at the edge of existence. For a single moment, the eyes of ████ and Twobeings met, and ████ saw everything that they wanted to be in Twobeings. Then Twobeings was no more, and ████ remained alone in a nothing.

So they took the fire, water, wind and dirt with which they were coated and built everything we now know. The food on your table, the office, the rain, the trees that change with the seasons, the rivers and mountains, the sun and the moon, stars in the sky. All of this ████ made in an effort to reach their fullest form. Soon enough, ████ realized that even all of their creations were not enough to hold what they believed could be their true being. But in the busyness of creating and searching, ████ did not notice that from the dirt and the carcass of Twobeings, humans had emerged. Although ████ did not know where humans had come from, they discovered that they could carve wombs into the humans. And it is from in these wombs that they made their realms, from which they could multiply. With these realms, they hoped to merge into something greater: something as great as Twobeings, even though they did not know what it would mean to truly be Twobeings.

If you are very still, you can feel the realms carved into you - pressing down on your chest, a sharp pain in your stomach, or a tension around your shoulders. Sometimes humans exist from within these realms, to the point of not knowing how to get out. Lacking an understanding of the power of choice.

And so it has been since the dawn of time. Humans fighting to become humans, struggling to understand their creation. And ████, having multiplied for so long and becoming so conceited in their form, clouded the potential of humans -- so much so that ████ and humans alike believed ████ to be gods. But their true names can only be revealed by the humans, who see them for what they are in their self-inflation. ████ only want to talk to you about themselves. They want to tell you about their constant validation through controlling and gaining power over us.

I want to talk to you about myself. I want to tell you about my constant journey of finding and knowing love within myself.

I know that these are not my final thoughts on love. I have just started to embrace myself and my heartfelt need for intimacy. I still don’t allow myself to feel and fully express all that I am.

I am stuck again between realms. I cannot get out. I have learned to stay hidden within these worlds.

When I am faced with external and internal challenges I tell myself that I don’t hold value enough to be listened to or seen and it is hard to accept the neglect I keep on putting myself through and I feel numb!

Trapped in my past with no sense of belonging. The pain that I am constantly reliving. I am unable to sense myself and others. A burden has been lifted from my shoulders. I love you! I want you in my life! I want all of you in my life.

And it's hard to forgive parts of myself! Forgive the creators and gods of my inner universe. The gods who took my language away and told me that their source of all moral authority is one of violence.

And they just keep on singing song about hate and love...